2001-01-14
Death, posted at 23:38:13
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com The sudden death of a vibrant, 43-year old supervisor. A horrifying doughnut slide in Simon's car on an icy Boston expressway. Watching "The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman", as its 110-year old narrator faces the inevitability of what's coming very soon to her. Viewing the four-month old fetus in North Kedzie, and wondering if someone's soul is there. Seeing my own grandmother, riddled with Alzheimer's, as she goes more and more quickly downhill. I've been thinking a lot about death lately. It scares the hell of me, and always has. But I don't ever remember it scaring me as much as it is right now. Every now and then lately, I catch myself in a thought. The premise may change, but the outcome is always the same - me asking myself, "What if this is all there is?". Is there anything scarier than nothingness? It's something humanity has grappled with ever since we had the skills of self-reflection, but I don't think it's ever gotten easier. I mean, what IF this is all there is? What if religion was something invented by people to ease the fear of death? What if our souls die are over when our bodies die? It's so scary. I need some faith.