Saturday, Feb. 22, 2003
Starfish, posted at 2:19 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Just in from a pretty fun night out in Canton, one of my favorite areas of the city. After a decent meal at Nacho Mama's, my friends and I went to a dive called the Pickled Parrot.I was in a very reflective mood tonight. I am concentrating on why I seem to fall into the traps of pursuing only what will come easy, and not getting to know someone on a deeper, more intimate level. I wonder why I seem to have closed myself off to anything beyond casual dating here. I know a lot of it has to do with jumbled up emotions from my time during Christmas break, but I had decided in my head to move beyond that and it doesn't seem like I have.
Take, for example, Millie. Great girl. Cute, but also sort of exotic. Much like Vin Diesel, her race is indistinguishable. That's cool. She plays on Kristen's lacrosse team, and I've begun hanging out with her in recent weeks. I think she might dig me. Actually, the evidence is a bit overwhelming. Tonight, another mutual friend from Florida wanted to see what Maryland driver's licenses looked like. My wallet was out, paying for the latest pitcher of Yuengling. I showed her my driver's license, and Millie spied my 2000 student ID picture. So we did the whole "pass the IDs around the table and look at Epiphany's before and after weight loss pictures," which is a game that never ceases to make me feel damn good. Millie was sitting next to me, and was interested in how I did it. I began telling her the story, and revealed that I still wanted to get down to 175. She made an off-the-cuff remark that I looked fine as is, but left it at that. When we said our goodbyes tonight, though, she made it a point to hug me twice, then put her arms around my torso, rubbed her hand up and down my abs, and told me not to lose any more weight and that any girl who wouldn't date me was crazy. I also noticed she was doing the hand contact thing a lot throughout the night. I think she digs me.
That's now Millie, Renee (who I like more and more every time we hang out), and the Chemistry teacher as women who want to tame this wild bachelor. Heh. As if anyone would ever describe me as such.
So why am I dragging my feet? I won't kid you, I know why. But that situation has gotten cloudier and cloudier since my return, and I must live my life more fully here. A heart is not like a starfish; it does not thrive when chopped in two. I must be a single starfish, and get my tentacles out there for some action.
Okay, that was gross. I will blame it on the beer.