2002-03-05
Want me to be your reference? I'll lie for you!, posted at 9:54 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Last night, I lied through my teeth to a nice guy I've never met. I still feel guilty about it.The situation: Josh has been living with us now for two months, rent-free. We though it would be a week, maximum. He's lived with us without a word about moey since that time, lazily looking for a job and then (even more lazily) looking for an apartment. He found the job, but still not an apartment.
I want him gone so badly. I'm very excited about it.
He has finally been making progress in the last week. A few days ago, he said he'd be gone on Sunday. When Sunday came around, he was still gone to another state for the weekend, and his stuff (including a couch, a haphazard mountain of clothes, and tons of other junky crap) was all still there. I had delayed cleaning the house this weekend because I thought he'd be gone and didn't want to have to clean twice.
Anyhow, his stuff was all still there, and Jeremy and I were bemusedly joking about it when he finally came back at around 10pm. I had to ask him - "So, how's the apartment situation?". I not only feel like he's way overstaying his welcome, but that he's not letting us know his progress often enough.
He then went into a long crazy story about how his dad accidentally took a chair from his old apartment, and how it was an antique and he sold it for $125, and how the landlord came back and apparently it was the only existing heirloom from a long-deceased great grandmother, and how now that reference is all messed up so he's having a hard time getting in with his new roommates. It was a bizaare story - just bizaare enough to be true and to be very appropriate for this situation.
That night, after I had gone to bed, Josh asked Jeremy something like, "So, why do you think Epiphany asked me what the apartment situation was? Do you think he wants me gone?" Jeremy, of course, feels the same way as I do, but played it dumb.
Anyhow, last night, Josh was talking to his new prospective roommate, and I heard him explaining the comical great grandmother chair story to him. Suddenly, he asked if one of us would vouch for him being a good roommate. Well, I was the last one out of Jeremy and Mike to shout "Not It!", so it was me.
And, yeah, I lied through my teeth. The guy asked me if Josh was clean. I said yeah. He asked me if he does dishes. I said yeah. He asked me if he'd recommend him. I said yes, wholeheartedly. The guy seemed like a really nice guy, and he was laughing about his situation. "I can't seem to find any of his old roommates or landlords as references!" He chuckled. He tried to get me to say something negative, even saying, "I guess I'm looking for if you have anything negative to say about him." The clincher was when he asked me how we're splitting up the bills. I told him that so far, he hasn't paid anything, but we're expecting him to. But I tried to put a positive spin on even that.
I felt bad for a while, but what does the guy expect? Josh is crashing with us; of course we want him out. And, what, am I supposed to tell him what a crummy roommate he is while he's standing right there and has just handed the phone to me? Expecting the truth in a situation like that is probably a bit too much.
Look at me, I'm trying to justify it. I do feel guilty. But that feeling of guilt does not supercede my feeling of anticipation at the thought of having our house free of a messy, ungrateful visitor.