Epiphany in Baltimore

2002-03-03

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

Things are okay.

I went out last night, with Teri, Michelle, and Kristen and a few of Kristen's friends. We went to a tapas bar & grille that turned out to be a hole in the wall, with absolutely no vegetarian options (good thing I wasn't hungry). We then went to a bar called The Horse You Came in On, and it as okay.

I was actually pretty bored most of the night. I wasn't drinking, and standing around in a bar thinking of things to say - or rather, shout, since the music was too loud - just isn't that fun for me sometimes. And if you're shouting something, it seems like it should be something important, and there just wasn't anything important to say. Admittedly, I was tired and sort of moody for much of the night. We stayed there for a while, and the only thing that got me through was the decent cover band that was there. The highlight of the evening was Teri dancing to the duo playing Jimmy Eat World's "Everything will be alright" song, which was her self-proclaimed theme song for her just-announced job change.

We stayed out way too late, and I wasn't in that great of a mood, but all's well that ends well I suppose. We actually ended up at a strip club at the end of the night, although I only stayed for a couple of minutes before finally successfully dragging the rest of my (all-female) car load back to our parking spot. I just don't find women dancing around poles to be particularly sexy. The one other time I went to one - when I was 19 - I felt the same way - a mixture of good ol' Catholic guilt and of thinking about my little sister and imagining that the girls up there were someone else's little sister. Don't get me wrong - I do find naked women to be attractive, just not in that setting. I also didn't think it was necessarily a good place for four teachers to be seen, especially with the rumors flying that a senior girl at our school works there. After we left the bar, Kristen was up in the front of the crowd with her friends, and the rest of us were just following behind, wishing to go home but following the crowd since Kristen came with us. That they ended up heading to the seedy "gentlemen's club" was a shocker, and we were able to successfully get out of there soon enough. Thankfully.

Today, I'm heading back to the gym, to hopefully alleviate some of the stress and frustrations that I've felt over the last couple of days. Phone calls to Gale, Eleanor, Hugasoul, and my parents cheered me up yesterday, and then a disappointing evening out sort of set me back a step again. A great conversation with Jeremy at 2am last night did cheer me up again. Not that things are bad. They're just not that great at the moment, although I'm dealing with it.

Tonight, I'm going to the Todd Snider show in Annapolis with Kristen and Michelle. I'm concerned, because I feel like I'm spending too much time with them, and last night was not particularly fun for me (or them, I don't think).

One thing I definitely want to make a point of in the next few weeks is finding different people to hang out with. It's not that I don't thoroughly enjoy the friends I've made. I just think we may be developing a codependent "do something every weekend night" habit that doesn't bode well for developing other friendships. Jeremy made the good point the other day that those friends were my "hanging out, relaxing" friends, and that that's only one side of me.

Nick has a group of friends I'm hoping to become a part of - I'm getting a six-game package of Orioles tickets with a couple of them, and that should help that along. I also came pretty close to asking a couple of girls out this weekend. Actually, I didn't come that close, but after talking with both of them I thought I definitely should have. One was a girl who lives right across from Nick in his apartment building. When I went over there on Friday, her cat was running down the hall, and I bent down and started petting it. She came running around the corner, and the cat scampered off into her open apartment door. That sparked a conversation. She voluntarily introduced herself to me, shaking my hand. I'm sure she thought I was Nick, but no matter... she was friendly, made eye contact, smiled, and we talked about her cat. I forgot her name, though. Maybe I can concoct another chance meeting. Then there was the girl in Barnes & Noble yesterday, who gave me my teacher's discount not only on the baseball coaching books I bought, but also on the Men's Health magazine I bought. She joked that it was her last day, so they couldn't fire her. She joked that the guy who was in front of me was her old biology professor, but that he didn't recognize her, and that was a good thing, because she slept through his class all the time. More smiles, more eye contact. I definitely would have tried to talk more with her, but there was a long line behind me. Still, I'm sure I could have thought of something else to say besides "Thank you" and laughing.

I've got to do better in this department. Hindsight is 20/20. We shall see.