2002-04-19
Drifting apart, posted at 9:18 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com It's Friday, and it's been a long week. Temperatures have been unrelentingly hot and the air is humid. We've had four baseball games and parent/teacher conferences. I haven't been sleeping much. I got the first traffic ticket of my life. I had a grueling phone conversation with a friend. Yup, it's been a long week. I'm glad it's Friday.I can't shake the feeling the Jeremy and I are drifting apart. I cajoled him into coming out last night for dinner and a beer with Nick and Randy. He seemed so out of it most of the night. I can't help but think we've hit a plateau in our relationship, in our commonalities. With him not teaching and now apparently moving to Florida, I am beginning to think that the closeness of our friendship may be fading away. It's a sickening feeling, and I don't know what to do about it.
Part of it is probably due to his decision to move to Florida, which he hasn't asked my opinion about but I'm certainly not in favor of. First of all, he's my good friend and roommate and I'll miss him. Secondly, I think he's running away from his disappointments here rather than confronting them. As far as I know, he's given up totally on finding a teaching job in this area.
Perhaps what he needs is a fresh start. I don't know. I wish nothing but the best for him. I just wish he'd talk to me about it every now and then. I feel like our communication has really died down, and every now and then there are little snippets of temper with me - like he's pissed off. I know he's frustrating with his unemployment, so maybe he's just taking things out on me a bit.
Still, I wish things were better between us. Whenever I go out with my new friends, they always ask where Jeremy is. He rarely comes out with us anymore. I'm going to spend the weekend with him though, as Eleanor is coming down to visit and we'll all hang out. I hope this is the "weekend away" that we need together.
Ah well, back to teaching. I'm showing the film version of To Kill a Mockingbird. It's actually pretty good.