Epiphany in Baltimore

2002-03-13

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

It's raining today, and baseball practice will probably be cancelled. The lazy side of me is happy about that, but the "coaching is a hell of a lot of fun" side of me (which is dominating right now) is disappointed.

I overslept today to 5:30, and didn't make it to the gym until just after 6. Oops. My kids were highly amused when I told them that 5:30am is oversleeping for me. They also chuckled when I told them I went to bed at 9pm last night. But you know what, I feel great and keep losing weight, so it's all worth it. In my truncated workout this morning, I spent 30 minutes on an eliptical machine, ran a mile at 7.5 mph, then did a quick 20-minute leg workout. I neglect my legs too often - I sort of figure that if they have to carry 200 pounds a day around all the time, that they're strong enough - so when I work them out, I get sore. Squats with 150 pounds on my shoulders are the toughest, but the feeling I get after I'm done with them - that I can take on the world - lasts all day.

I think I had some copies of To Kill a Mockingbird stolen from me, and I'm left without a copy for our oral reading today. That's no matter. I spend the whole last part of class (we don't spend all of class reading, just the last 30 minutes or so - and that's only cuz we just started it) walking around the room, listening to them read and giving the raised eyebrow look (which my kids called my "The Rock"-look) to anyone who appears in a daze. I know not everyone likes to hear things read orally, but I think most of the kids do at this point in their reading careers. Those that don't can just fake it, and read it silently at home. I've got the kids trained - oh gosh, that makes them sound like they're pets... let's go with "working together" - so that they read a few paragraphs, and then call on someone else themselves when they're tired of reading. Kids have to read at least half a page, and no more than two pages, and must call on someone who has not yet read. So they take care of the choosing process, and all I'm left doing is walking around and interrupting when I think extra explanation is needed. It's been working well so far. This was the only way I could get my freshmen classes to behave last semester. This semester, it's transformed from being my only safe haven to being just a few minutes when I expend less energy in front of the classroom. The teachers who burn out early are those that cannot find those little things to do during the day that keep them sane and lower their stress level.

Nick says he doesn't see himself teaching for a long time, because he doesn't know any way of doing it other than "going 150% everyday, all the time." I didn't say anything then - I always thought of intriguing things to say to him long after our initial conversations ended - but now I do know what I would say. I'd tell him that kids don't need their teacher going at 150% every day to learn, that he should learn to go 150% on most days, then find ways that he can drop down to 90% or even lower. Actually, I don't think I would have said that, even if I had thought of it then. But it's what I'm thinking now.

I remember it being especially frustrating to me in college to read all these educational philosophy or classroom stories from teachers who burned out early. Books like Educating Esme, The Freedom Diaries, and even the book that inspired that Michelle Pfeiffer movie with the Coolio song - My Posse Don't Do Homework all feature authors who no longer teach. In fact, they only taught two or three years, and now make their living writing books and giving speeches about teaching. Teaching for them was like a war - spend a few years on the front lines, then spend the rest of your life basking in the glow of being a wounded veteran with a Purple Heart. As a college student and a graduate student, I was always like "What the F? They're telling us how to teach, yet their style of teaching caused them burn out in just a couple of years? Do you make more of an impact on the world if you teach, say, 300 students over the course of three years, or if you teach 30,000 over the course of 30 years?". The answer isn't quite that clearcut - it does take a rare teacher who can still be inspiring in their, say, 22nd year of teaching, and it's probably better that some teachers burn out rather than fade away - but I still believe that teaching is a stressful job, mostly because it's the type of job where there is never a time where there is nothing to be done. There's something - always. It's important to prioritize and stay sane. That's all I'm saying. This is also why folks like Jim Burke have become my education role models because they're still out there doing it, rather than folks who were great at it for small amount of time only.

(Incidentally, the school I'm at recently had something very similar to the Educating Esme/Freedom Diaries situation. The guy who co-wrote The Corner [which is also on my "List of books to read"] was a teacher here, but just quit because HBO bought his latest script he has written. Rumor has it that now that he's spent a year teaching inner-city kids, he's going to make money the rest of his life saying how bad the educational system is, rather than working to change it. People are pissed. I met the guy twice, and I don't really have an opinion.)

Well, I better head off to take my usual afternoon rounds - saying hi to Nick downstairs, heading to the male teachers' bathroom, washing my lunch dishes, seeing if there's any gossip to catch up on, making copies for tomorrow. I need to find a mirror, because I'm worried that my left eye - which may be developing pinkeye. Yuck yuck yuck. I spent a month or so a couple of years ago with it, and I kept on getting it because I couldn't not wear my contact lenses. Now at least I have glasses that work, so that shouldn't be a problem. If it is pinkeye, it's my own damn fault. I've gone two or three days using water as my contact solution. I was trying to make it this week without going shopping. Holden needs food, though, so I'll probably go tonight.

Speaking of Holden, I called the kennel yesterday - or at least, the veterinarian, which has a kennel - and not only are they booked for Easter Weekend, but it would cost me $16 a day. I've stayed at hotels that were cheaper! (Okay, so not really...) Still, though, $16/day times nine days equals a new DVD player. That's just way too much. I think I'll endure the minor hassle of hair on my seat and lugging him home for almost $200. Besides, he loves the trip and he's such (insert doggy speak)a goood dog!!

And end entry.