2002-09-22
"I know you're lonely for the words I ain't spoken.", posted at 9:46 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Bruce Springsteen have been connecting lately on a level deeper than I ever have before with him. Every now and then, I go through moods in which I connect on a very deep level with a certain artist. In the past, Brenda Kahn, John Mayer, Harry Chapin, Tracy Chapman, and others have been the object of the connection. For this moment in time, though, it's Bruce. I'm finding myself replaying his songs multiple times, trying to memorize them, and picking out lines that make my soul swell. I'm not sure why now is the time for Bruce. Perhaps it's because his songs - or the songs of the young Bruce Springsteen, at least - all seem to be about the internal and external struggles about settling down and finding love. About the hungry heart that we all have. Mine's just really hungry right now.***
I spent Saturday night in Washington with an old college friend, watching an infuriating loss by our Spartans to Notre Dame in the final minute. It was a long day and night - I got to DC at 2pm, and didn't roll turn back onto my street here in Baltimore until 6am - but it was a pretty good time. I met a girl who seemed pretty cool. I'm kicking myself for not asking for her number. We were talking with each other at a barbecue, as neither of us knew the host nor hardly anyone there. She was good-looking, a red-head, an Ohio native and worked for a non-profit. Our conversation was going okay, although I'm never good in those types of situations. I can never think of what to say, nor what to talk about. When will it be easy for me to talk to girls? Ever? Why does being in this situation make me feel like I'm in the 7th grade? I'm totally fine with it if I know it's going to be a one-night thing (I again proved this to myself later that very night), but if there's a possibility for an actual connection in more than a "two ships in the night" kind of way, I tend to clam up. Ugh. Things went okay, but still a little awkward. She was, after all, hot.
She went to get a beer, got in a conversation, so I figured my chances were shot. But, then, when I left, she gave me a hug(!) and said it was nice to meet me and maybe we'll catch each other again. I agreed, then left without getting her number. (It would have been tough, mind you, as it was loud, outside, and she was in a big group of people.) Oh well, she is a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, so hopefully she'll be invited to that first friend's Octoberfest party next month that I'll also be attending.
***
Jeremy came down on Friday and got the rest of his stuff on his way down to Florida. Hopefully, Florida will work out better than Baltimore did for him. I think our friendship will remain intact, for the most part. We'll probably never be as connected as we have been connected at time in the past, as he's not necessarily a good long distance communicator and our living together produced its large share of downs and as well as a few ups. But he's a friend, and probably/hopefully will be one for the rest of our lives. Best of luck to him.
One thing I won't miss about Jeremy: Fear Factor will never, ever be turned on in this house again. Heh.
***
So I got my first e-mail from someone in my area in regards to my on-line personal. She said I sounded interesting. I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. First of all, she lives in Bethesda, which is pretty far. Secondly, she declares herself "conservative." I can live with a lot of things - the fact that she's taller and older than me, yeah that's okay I guess - but conservative? I just don't think I could do it. Middle of the road is fine. Even "lean right," which was also an option. But someone who declares herself conservative is telling me right from the onset that we have major philosophical differences.
That last paragraph, by the way, is a good indicator of why I'm single. I can be a picky asshole. Yup. I will freely admit this.