Sunday, May. 23, 2004
Moroseness, posted at 7:23 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com I worked 4p-1a last night at the restaurant, and 9-5 today. I made almost $150 over the two days, but, well, it was totally not worth it. True, that might help pay for part of the crazy strong contact lenses I hope to get for myself on Tuesday (my first contacts since the double scleral buckle surgeries, so I'm excited), but I'm finding it less and less worth the time I have away from the things I would rather be doing, or even need to be doing. I guess it will all be over soon, in a month when school is over and the only work I have is the restaurant. But I'm just sick of it, sick of having no time, sick of kissing people's asses for a dollar her and a dollar there. Sick of only remembering the shitty tips, like the $30 on the $209 bill last night in what I hoped would be a table that made my night since they made me stay an extra hour with their camping out. Shitty tips like today's $1.01 on a $23.99 bill from a foreign couple, even though that's no excuse. I just keep thinking to myself, you know, I could be home right now mowing my lawn instead of letting it grow to my ankles, I could be replacing that jalapena pepper plant that a fallen fence struck down in my miniature garden last night, I could be sitting outside at Little Havana with friends with a mojito in my hand.I'm a little sad, because I haven't been workign at the restaurant that much during baseball season (both weekend days, but not during the week), so it's been a little out of my mind. I began getting this thought on Saturday morning that I haven't been home to Michigan since Christmas, that I haven't seen my mother since her diagnosis, that I'm a little homesick. I began to think that, yes, I'll drive home during Memorial Day Weekend, since I don't have school on that Monday. It'll be great, they'll probably have the boat out on Lake Michigan by then, I'll be able to celebrate my dad's birthday with him and relax for a couple of days. I began planning in my head my trip, that I'd take off early on Friday and get back late on Monday. Then, whoosh, I remembered that I work a shitty second job at a restaurant. And it was too late to ask for it off. I sort of decided that I would anyway, but I went into the restaurant and they had already scheduled me for all three days that weekend. I won't even have freaking Memorial Day off.
At least it was a wakeup call on the summer, though. I realize now that I can't just let summer happen to me, that I'm going to have to plan it out week by week and figure out when I can get away from this city for a little bit. I've got about four weddings to get to this summer, am hoping friends visit me, and want to spend a least two significant periods of time (5 days or so) in Michigan on the beach. I'm going to have to break out the calendar and figure out when I'm going to do what. Otherwise, I'll continue to morosely plod through my days like I did today and yesterday post-4pm.
I haven't been to the movies yet in 2004. This depresses the hell out of me, too.
Now it's back to the drawing board, so I can plan an amazing last six days of class teaching both Fences and The Odyssey.