Epiphany in Baltimore

Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

Becoming again immersed into the culture of Bally�s at Towson is a nice return to familiarity. My big return began auspiciously last week, with the onset of Isabel preventing workouts on Thursday or Friday and 14-hour work days over the weekend making it nearly impossible. But, three days back into the fold, I�m feeling good again. My muscles have that deliciously sore feeling, and my confidence has risen a few notches.

I don�t think I�ve shared this, but I�ve gained ten pounds since last Thanksgiving. I think I began to fall off the wagon a bit during the holidays, then my spring progress was slowed by the gilato and pizza of Italy. I�ve never really been about the weight � more about my general health and feeling good and increasing self-confidence � but I�ve decided to set a weight goal for myself. It�s a modest one: I want to get down to my weight last Thanksgiving by the time this Thanksgiving comes around. That�s ten pounds in two months. Last Thanksgiving was probably the best shape I�ve been in my life � I was almost svelte � so this should make me feel good.

I have decided to give up cereal, and this should help. Cereal is pretty much my favorite food. Sit me down with a bowl of granola and skim milk and I�m in heaven. But it�s far too easy of a meal for me, and I end up eating a bowl two or three times a day. Cereal is basically pretty healthy, if you get the right kind (and I do), but I�m apparently incapable of controlling myself when I have some in the cupboard. It fits all of my cravings. Want something sweet? Grab some cereal. Want something satisfying, with some good fat and protein? Grab some cereal. It�s just way too easy. As soon as this cereal I have is gone, I�m not going to buy any for a while. I�ll have to work a little harder to prepare my food, but it will be for the best. Making some scrambled eggs every now and then with some salsa, eating some cottage cheese, saut�ing some spinach with Pam on the stovetop. It�ll be good for me.

Being back at Bally�s really makes me wish I had a workout partner. A female. Preferably one I was sleeping with. One that gets up in the morning with me, rubs her eyes, and throws on either a pair of bulky swish-swish pants or one of those really soft workout suits, then wears a t-shirt that�s not too tight, but maybe shows a bit of her abdomen when she reaches for something. We�ll yawn and drink coffee and drive over to the gym, her hair either tied back in a pony tail or maybe with her pony tail through the back of a baseball cap because that�s really damn hot. We�ll trade sets on the machines, then head over to the weights section and I�ll put on my heavy weights, then remove them for her sets. We�ll head over and do cardio at the end, and she�ll be way better than me at that, and she might look over at me during a spinning class and grin as I huff and puff. We�ll leave in a sweaty mass, head off to our respective jobs, then meet up again for dinner and a private workout of our own.

I�m thinking about sex again, for the first time since __________. That�s a sign that the workouts are working.

Today I had the depressing task of heading to Trader Joe�s and restocking my freezer and refrigerator of all the food that spoiled during the 5-day power outage. When the cute cashier asked me if I had found everything, I groaned a �Yeah,� and she laughed and imitated me. I told her that this was a sad trip, because I was replacing all my lost food, and she gave me this cute empathetic smile. I glanced down at her hand for a ring, and there was one there, but I suck at telling if a ring is a wedding ring or not. I didn�t chance it, and watched her as she called to the back of the store to replace my cracked eggs, and left without saying much else besides thank you.