Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003
Arrears, posted at 11:35 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com I spent much of yesterday contemplating how I'm going to get out of the financial mess I'm in. I went to the CCCS (Consumer Credit Counseling Services) for my meeting. It turns out the meeting was actually for next Monday - I had had the dates wrong - so I didn't actually get to meet with a counselor. I did spend some time speaking with someone there, though, and I'm not sure if it's right for me. The service will only help me pay off credit cards, and that's not my biggest problem anymore. I spent a year paying off a credit card last year, and made a bit of a dent in it, and still have about $7,000 worth to pay off in that area. But my biggest problem is the $46,300 worth of student loans. I'll never be able to go back to school and I'll be subject to wage garnishment if that's not gotten up to date soon.Here's a secret: I'm not good about paying off student loans. I started, then stopped. I don't understand interest rates, and thought it would be better if I spent last year paying off this credit card that I felt was the bigger monkey on my back - because, after all, everybody has student loans to pay off.
So my federal student loans have gone to a collection agency, adding $9,000 in penalties and accruing $10 of interest a day. I decided to finally call about it yesterday, because I just want to get this taken care of. I call the federal student loan people, and they won't even talk to me any more - I've got to talk with the collections agency. I call them, and after I run down my monthly expenses, they tell me I might be eligible for a special program. But I still have to put $1500 down as a downpayment. I don't have that. In fact, that's months of saving. They will not let me pay off my student loans without putting down this down payment, which I don't have. So I can't pay off student loans.
I can't believe how fucked up this is. I don't have enough to put down a downpayment, so they're not allowing me to pay back the money I owe them? If I could put down $1500, then pay $452 a month for 12 months, my account goes back to good standing. If I really scrimp and get a 2nd job, I could perhaps afford the $452 a month. But there's no way I could afford the $1500 in the middle of the summer, even though it's right now the only option I have to get those penalties taken off my account.
Basically, I think I've got two options, or maybe both of these options combined. I think I might file for bancruptcy. That will help me out with the $7,000 of credit card bills I have left, as well as the lawsuit that is pending against me. I have nothing except my car that they could take, and if they want to take the car, I'm okay with that. I pay $692 a month to have that car ($392 for car payment, $300 for insurance), and that's a huge burden on me. I could live without a car. I live only 2.25 miles from school. It would suck in a lot of respects, but I think I could do it.
Secondly, my sister mentioned to me yesterday that I should just move back home and pay off these debts I have. This is an option, probably not for this year, but perhaps for next.
This is so frustrating, because it's almost all of my doing - that, and the fact that credit card companies decide to give a 19-year old with no income a credit card with a $6700 limit. I need a financial advisor to help me make decisions about my money. I feel like this stuff needs to be taken care of before I begin the next chapter of my life.
This isn't about the Europe trip. This is about years of piss poor financial decisions. But I've lived very frugally for the last two weeks, and I think I could do that for a while.