Thursday, Feb. 13, 2003
Confusion and exhaustion, posted at 1:11 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com I didn't post an entry yesterday, as I thought that yesterday was a day better left ignored in the archives, without the marinating in my mind that writing sometimes causes.For some reason, yesterday was a terrible day. It probably had something to do with the 14-hour day at school, and the fact that only six of my seventy-five students' parents showed up for conferences. I do not understand how this could not be considered an invaluable and crucial part of helping your child develop. Just showing up does so much for the student's self-confidence, and demonstrates that you are interested in his or her life. I try not to be judgmental, because I am sure there are some very valid excuses as to why some parents could not attend. But I'll tell you this: when I have a 14-year old child, I will make it a priority that I meet his or her teachers on "Meet the Teachers" Night. My parents always did, even though I got straight A's in high school.
I was also in a bad mood yesterday because it seems my life has been an uneasy mix of confusion and exhaustion lately. I haven't been sleeping well, and haven't been working out well, either. My eating has spiraled out of control at times, usually on days when I don't work out and health is off my mind. I still have no gotten my holiday baggage off, and those seven extra pounds my body is carrying around seem to have zapped energy level. A new semester and two preps have made my days at school busier and more stressful. It's often necessary for me to go against my usual grain and be colder and stricter with students than my natural instincts lead me to, and this takes energy.
I've had a lot of confusion about my situation in Michigan lately, and it doesn't get any less confusing now that I know she's coming to visit in less than a month. I wish I had an advisor, because my feelings are a bit torn, and there are few people that I can talk to about it, because I know there is nothing that anyone can say that will make the decision for me.
I think my lack of significant, or at least consistent, exercise lately has hurt in this area. There is nothing like a good run to clear the mind and make a decision. I ran about 2.5 miles this morning, and I feel so much better today. I actually had a great all-around workout, and hopefully it will inspire me to continue. The baseball informational meeting is this afternoon, and I'm pumped. So some things are looking up.