Monday, Jan. 27, 2003
The high school teacher's journal takes a sudden angsty romantic turn..., posted at 2:16 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Note to you know who you are: I know you said you were not into the diaryland communication thing any more, and I'm taking you on your word for that. And I agree with you that it is not a healthy way to communicate. You have your therapy, and I have this. I know I haven't asked you not to read this, but if you come across this, it's better that you not read it. When we are both ready to figure out where the next stepping stone is, we'll make that jump together.And now... back to our regularly scheduled programming...
I am down. Not depressed, but down. I am losing myself in my work and feeling disconnected from my friends. I was asked three times this weekend if I was okay, that I was not my usual self. It took those queries to realize that I guess I am not my usual self.
I do not know for sure why I am feeling this way, but I do know that every time I am in the car driving at night and listening to music, I am thinking of her. I do know that every time I am out at a bar and seeing all the people around enjoying themselves, I am thinking of her.
I am not used to this feeling. I keep trying to quell it, to press it down. I tried to hide it under yet another empty hookup. I try to hide it behind nonchalance and his friend stoicism.
Six-hundred miles. It might as well be a million. I miss her.
And I'm not sure where to go from here. If geography were the only issue, then at least that could be the focal point. But, no. There are so many issues, you need a subscription.