2001-09-11
Trying to offer encouragement, posted at 8:26 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Last night was sort of a stressful night at the house. Jason, my roommate and best friend, is having a rough time of it. His 7th graders are being little jerks to him, and he's having second thoughts about his chosen profession. I tried to be encouraging, but I'm not sure if I did a good job. Whenever he seems concerned about something, it concerns me, because the guy, if anything, is very stoic. I remember once, in college, he had minor surgery on his elbow, and that night he felt some pain in his heart. It scared the hell out of me. It was the middle of the night, and I rushed him to the hospital - running red lights, speeding - because the guy just doesn't complain about anything. It turns out it was just a reaction to the drugs he was given, and not serious. But it scared me. I'm feeling the same way right now.He's been put in a position that sets him up for failure. He was hired by the district in late August, and was unassigned for a period of about a week. Eventually, he got placed in a school where the old teacher - who had been there 33 years - left because of disagreements with the principal and the rigidity of the school policies. The subjects? Math and science. Jason almost completed a minor in math, and enjoys it. But he has no background or enjoyment for science. In fact, he always has hated science; he used to make fun of Jake and I for having to take science classes during our first two years as pre-medicine majors in college and swore he'd never have to take it. Now he's teaching it, and he hates it. "I joke about it, but, man, I just can't stand it," he told me last night. "I shouldn't be teaching something that I hate and have no background in." The school doesn't have enough books for his students, he's not getting any support from his department head, and he's the only math/science teacher in the school (so it's not like he can go to other teachers for suggestions). The school treats the kids like little robots - they go from class to class and have to walked to and from each class by teachers. They have no breaks, and can't even go to the bathroom during lunch. Then, of course, they unload it all on Jason when he's teaching. To make it even worse, all the kids had this teacher who left last year and loved him, and have been saying things like, "God, I wish Mr. Covington was here." Jason admits he's having some problems with classroom management, as all first year teachers (including me) have, but the kids don't seem like they're giving him any room for error at all.
Anyhow, I feel for the guy. He's doubting himself bigtime last night, and we had a very serious conversation about it. During these sort of conversations, I always struggle with whether or not I should give advice, or just listen well. I think he was fishing for advice, but I'm sure I didn't tell him anything he didn't know - go watch other teachers, talk to his department head and express his frustrations ab it and ask her for advice, remember that it's only one year and he can transfer at the end of the year if he still doesn't like it, the school year is only five days old so it's not like he can't reverse things that might be happening, etc. You'd think that with all the training I've had in res life, that I'd be very good at these sort of tough conversations - but I still don't feel like I'm that good. It's tougher when it's your good friend, I think.
Part of me wants to get my Master's Degree in Counseling, just to improve myself in this area. Then again, I've heard this Master's program is particularly grueling, so perhaps not.
Anyhow, I'm stressed out because I'm concerned for him, and feeling a little bit guilty because my experience is going so good. I feel like I'm at the ivory towers of Baltimore Public Schools. Yeah, I have a few problems here (my 7th period freshmen make me hoarse every day from all the yelling I have to do over them), but I love the kids and the experience so far.
Otherwise, things are okay. I had to go out last night to go to 7-11 and get some milk, but found myself driving all the way out to PetSmart (a 15-minute drive) on a whim and looking at puppy crates. I almost bought one, but they didn't have the one that I wanted in stock. I'm very excited about the prospect of getting a dog. I'm going to call some shelters today; the only puppies advertised in the classifieds in the newspaper were purebreds, which I'm not really interested in. I'm already trying to figure out names. I'm thinking about "Zora," after Zora Neale Hurston. It seems unique. I assume I'll be getting a female dog. I like dogs to have people names, not things like "Fido" or "Spot." Other names I'm thinking about are "Murphy," "Corky," (can you tell I just watched a rerun of "Murphy Brown"?), and "Max(ine)". We'll see. Maybe I'll put a quizlet here.
This morning, as usual, I came in early and worked out. The guys I work out with do weights on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and play basketball on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now, I hate basketball. The program I'm used to is a three consecutive days on weights (first day: arms and shoulders; second day: back and legs; third day: chest and triceps with a bit of cardio - like running a mile or 20 minutes on a stairstepper - every day), and then a hard cardio workout every fourth day (like running 5 miles or an hour on a stairstepper). I'm pretty independent when I work out; I don't use it as a social situation. But they talked me into playing basketball today. I didn't much like it, because I suck, but it was my first time playing since high school so I probably deserved to. Anyhow, I've made one pretty good friend already here at school - Jason (obviously not the Jason who I live with and moved with from Michigan). I went to his house for a bbq, we hang out in each other's rooms, we have long conversations about issues in English, heck, I almost spilled my guts to him this morning about how my roommates troubles kept me awake last night and that's why I was drinking so much coffee (I didn't, though). He's a real boisterous guy, not that similar to me, but I enjoy talking to him a lot. I think he could sense that I needed some coaxing to get comfortable, and I could tell that he was making extra effort to talk to me everyday. It paid off, or is still paying off, and I appreciate his effort a lot. Anyhow, there was another guy here today that I predicted early on that I'd be friends with - Neil - but haven't spoken to all year. He's in the Math department, and I just never see him. He was the one who had invited me to a baseball game during training, but then couldn't go. Anyhow, he seems like a real good guy, so I asked him if he wanted to come with my roommates and I to the ballgame on Thursday. I was pretty proud of myself. That was definitely a new Mark move, not an old Mark move. I just hope he doesn't decide not to go now because I sucked so bad at basketball. :
Jason, Mike (3rd housemate), and I meet with our landlord tonight to sign our lease. I hope she doesn't say anything about no pets. The previous tenants had a dog, and she had to have known (there was a dog chain, dog food, dog hair everywhere), so I assume it's okay. But we're not going to ask or tell. Don't ask, don't tell. Just like the military. Since the previous tenant lived there for two years without even ever meeting her, I think it's pretty safe. I love our place. We got so damn lucky. I can't wait to get some $$ (first paycheck on Friday!) to start filling it up with stuff. We really need to get a lawnmower; our yard looks like a meadow right now.
I wanted to give a big public shout-out to Yelnad for once again helping me out BIG TIME by finishing up the archiving job on my old entries. Thank you so much!!