2001-05-26
Mopey and feeling sorry for myself., posted at 9:21 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com What a worthless day.Instead of having a day that started early and including a hard workout at the gym and moving over most of my stuff, my day consisted of a lot of sitting around, surfing the Internet, and watching TV.
I feel useless, and disappointed that today is a day I'll never get back. I think I've spent the entire day without seeing another person. I talked with Erin on the phone. And my dad. But that was all. How pitiful.
My very good friend Jason , the guy who flaked out on living with me last year but says he wants to move with me wherever I find a job, e-mailed me and said he couldn't come up this weekend. That was a bummer. I've been really wanting to talk with him lately. He doesn't have a phone, so it's tough to get a hold of him when he doesn't check his e-mail or call me himself. I've been imagining more and more what it will be like to live with him as a roommate - to have someone familiar in a town full of strangers, to have someone in the same boat as you, to have someone share the cost of rent. I'm really looking forward to it. He's promised me he won't let me down again, but other friends are warning me not to count on anything. I'm really not. Yet.
I hope it does pan out. I also hope that Jason will find a niche wherever it is we go (right now, I'm leaning towards Charlotte or Raleigh/Durham... any thoughts?). He didn't do his student teaching, but has his degree and spent the last year substitute teaching. He's lived with his folks and substituted in his home town. I know he regrets not doing the internship now, and being a year behind everyone else. I'm not one to say, "I told you so," so I haven't said it. But it's unspoken between us. The guy is so marketable - a college wrestler with great coaching skills, great with kids, a wonderful teacher - and I hope he does find a job.
In other friends news (that's what I'm thinking about most tonight... how it's Saturday night and I don't have anyone to do anything with, how I don't have enough friends, how they're all too far away), Kelly finally updated today, and it sounds like she is doing well. I miss her and Paul. I was too busy to hang out with them much this year, and now that I'm not busy, they're far away.
Tomorrow, Erin and I are going to visit Gale, possibly going to a Tigers game, and going to some Detroit bars. I'm not really looking forward to it, but hopefully my mopey, feel-sorry-for-myself attitude will have changed by tomorrow.
I so wish someone would just surprise me with a phone call tonight and invite me to do something. Sigh... As it is, I rented two movies, "Before Night Falls" and "Duets". The former is on right now, and I'm not paying attention to it at all. I need something lighter, I think. "Duets" will be tried next. I'm also mad that I forgot my mustard at my old apartment, which prevents me from having the veggie dogs I've been craving all day. Rats!