Epiphany in Baltimore

2002-03-10

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

Had another great night last night. I can't believe that as early as a week ago, that I was feeling down about my move here and my lack of a social life.

After the night on the town Friday night, we had a night in last night - a Game Night at Teri's. We played Loaded Questions, which my good friend Nate gave me for Christmas (Note to self: call Nate and thank him again). It's the best board game I've ever played, if only because you really learn so much about people from it. Last night yielded some really profound moments, if I don't say so myself.

First of all, I won. I think I discovered that one of my skills is that I am intuitive about other people. I find people, in general, fascinating, and always have. Alice Walker can say it better than I can: "I believe that people exist to be enjoyed, much as a restful or engaging view might be... When I am in the presence of other human beings I want to revel in their creative and intellectual fullness and their uninhibited social warmth. I want their precious human radiance to wrap me in light... Everything I would like other people to be for me, I want to be for them." (From Everything I Love Can Be Saved: Essays)

. Many people use their intuition of people to write, and write things more serious than an online journal. I wish I was a more talented writer, like Thursday or Matt or Kinetix or Wordwhore, so I would feel confident writing short stories or, hell, even a novel. I've never actually tried. Maybe someday I will. I've got ideas, but I don't want to become the cliched English teacher - like Carol Vessey on Ed - with a half-finished novel sitting next to their bed. Anyhow, during the game last night, I tried to choose questions that would yield as much interesting information about my fellow players as I could, and I was able to match up responses very well. I love the game, and love that I'm good at it.

My favorite question was, "What book had the most profound impact on your life?". I didn't get to respond, as it was my question (my response would probably be The Color Purple, and the reasons for that would probably fill up a whole other entry). But the responses that I got were eclectic - The Souls of Black Folks (Nick), Possessing the Secret of Joy (Marcia), Are you there God? It's me Margaret (Teri), The Bible (Brenden), Franny and Zoey (Michelle), and Circle of Children(Amber). After making my guesses (I got four of the six correct), I had to explain why I matched each title with each person, and then each person had to explain why they chose what they chose. The result was a fascinating conversation.

Later, I made the comment that I really loved it when the person whose turn it was guessed which response was mine, because it made me feel like people knew me. A few questions later, Brendan (a British guy in his 50s - a really interesting guy who is fascinating to talk to, he's Marcia's husband. He's the kind of person who makes you feel like you're the most important person in the world when you're talking with him) told me, "You know, Epiphany, I think that was a really profound thing to say. Really, that's the meaning of life, isn't it? Making connections with people makes you feel like you're alive, that you've made an impact. There's nothing better than knowing that other people truly know what kind of person you are." It was the type of comment that gave me chills, because I can relate to it so much. I've certainly felt loneliness. I've been depressed before (June 1999-December 1999 especially; that was another question as well last night - what was the worst year of your life?). I've sometimes felt like no one knows me in this world. I think we all have felt that way, at one point or another. But last night, through the playing of a board game, it became so clear why connections with others are so important. The significance of the fact that I was feeling these connections with Baltimoreans - a town that still feels new and unfamiliar to me - is not lost on me.

My intellectual crush on my new friend Nick continues. I love to hear things the guy says. He won this essay contest for new teachers about experiences in the classroom (I didn't know about the contest, or else I would have entered), and I went to visit the website it's posted on yesterday and read it. I got goosebumps; it's really good. I told him I really liked it, and he seemed touched that I took the time to seek it out and read it. I think he could be a really good friend, as long as I don't screw something up.

One of the funniest moments of the night, for me, was when I wrote Gale Govaere as a response for the question, "If you were to get in a plane crash, what person would you most want sitting next to you?". It was funny, because no one else put someone's name - they all put things like "my father" or "my brother" or "next to someone I love". Me, though, I was primarily thinking about one thing - the trip to Boston for New Years 2001, and the near-accident we had on a highway. Simon, Gale, and I were driving along on an icy expressway, when Simon lost control and we did a frightening doughnut next to a cliff. It was terrifying; never before have I felt so mortal, so vulnerable. I was sure I was a goner. Gale, however, took it in stride - she was sitting in the back seat, and dropped to the ground and made her body as loose as possible. And she laughed. Talk about grace under pressure. That sense of calmness - whether it is confronting certain death, or doing whatever is necessary to remain alive - is something that I think Gale would excel at. Anyhow, the response was funny because no one matched the response with me, and everyone who had it matched with them was saying things like, "Oh yeah, Gale Govari, she's my best friend. I'd want her right there." or "Gale Govari (they pronounced it incorrectly), I hear she's a Navy Seal, she has survival skills so she should be right there." It was a riot.

Anyhow, it was a good night, and I feel close with the participants of the game. The only sour moment was the question, "If you had to correct any part of your body through plastic surgery, what would it be?" and I had to guess. There is just no correct way to approach that question. If I said something like "nose," then the person who I guessed it for could say something like, "Well, what's wrong with my nose?". The fact that I got that round 100% correct didn't make me proud. I honestly was not trying to match up faults of people, just trying to predict who would say what. Weird.

It's Sunday today, and I don't think I'll be doing much. I have a lot of papers to correct, I need to go to the gym, and Jason wants me to go watch a baseball game tonight. The weather has gotten crummy here - chilly and windy, though still sunny and cloudless - and I'm not that excited about, but it's pretty tough to keep me away from a baseball game, so I'll probably end up going.

Tomorrow I start To Kill a Mockingbird with my freshmen. It's one of my favorite books of all time, and I've been talking it up big time over the last few weeks. I'm excited. I should probably re-read the first chapter tonight so I'm really ready for it.