2002-10-12
Self Interview, posted at 10:17 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Greetings. Testing this out as a new "About the Author" page. Have been working on this self-interview format for a while; let's see how it works.Please give a short bio of yourself for our readers.
My name is Epiphany, and I've kept this diary since April 2000. I'm 25, single, and live in Baltimore, MD. I'm a 2nd year high school teacher of English in an urban school in the city, and I teach 9th graders. I grew up in Michigan, graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in English Education, and spent four years in MSU�s Department of Residence Life (as an RA, ASAC, and finally an Assistant Hall Director). I�ve lived in Baltimore since September 2001. I also coach high school baseball, host house concerts, tutor college athletes, play lots of sports on the Baltimore Sports & Social League, and do lots of other stuff.
What will we find in your journal?
I write in here probably 5-6 times a week, so I update regularly. Most often, you�ll see a lot of my day-to-day activites. If you read through the archives, you�ll see me chronicle my life through my senior year of college, my year of student teaching while in grad school, my job search, my move to a city where I knew no one, my weight loss, and my up-and-down first year of teaching. I�m now in my 2nd year, and things are going well. You�ll obviously read about a lot of classroom stories and such, with me writing about issues, problems, or successes in my classroom. There�s a lot of other stuff here, too, though. Throughout this whole journal and its 500+ entries, you�ll find recurrent themes of longing for personal connections, of searching for truth, and of struggling with the conversion from youth and adulthood. There�s a lot of confusion on these pages, but a lot of optimism as well. I feel a bit like I�m on a quest, though I�m not sure what I�m exactly hunting for. I suppose it�s similar to what everyone is looking for. A life partner. Close connections with other human beings. Confirmations that my chosen path is the right one� that I am, as John Mayer sings, �living it right.� Great art. Passion. Excitement. Lately, I think my journal reads like Bruce Springsteen's songs circa 1985 read.
Why do you keep an online journal?
This is a good question, and one that I've struggled with in the past. It started because I had a friend who did it - an old friend from high school named Annie - and I was intrigued by the way she used the journal to express herself, and also to provide an opportunity for people she knew to get "inside" her head a bit. Since that time, I've gone through some of the same struggles that she has with hers - discomfort with friends/family reading it, for example � but overall I've become fairly content with it. I made my journal anonymous (my diaryland alias used to be my actual name) over a year ago, and while it's still probably not too tough to figure out who I actually am for the detectives out there, I'm no longer all that concerned. I don't discuss anything sinister in here. It's not something I would ever want certain people in my professional life to find, but if they did, they'd see I'm always striving to make my teaching better and working hard, and I think that's a good thing. There are a few people in real life who read the thing, but I've tried to keep that number static since I moved by not telling anyone in my new home in Baltimore where the journal is. I just hate having to censor myself, and there are occasions when I think of friends reading and hold back. (On the other hand, I do enjoy the fact that this is a way for me to keep in touch with a few select Michigan friends, so it's got its good parts as well.) I like having the journal because it affords the opportunity for daily expression, and I've found myself enjoying the readership as well; I check my stats a couple of times a week and am amazed that hundreds of people read this thing every day. It's an odd way to communicate, and I rarely respond to people who e-mail or sign the guestbook. Why is that? I�m not sure. I do enjoy getting feedback, but there�s part of me that is very uncomfortable with using this forum as a launching pad for more. Sometimes I think of my readers as a next door neighbor. I�ll let them look in the window, and even wave. I�ll enjoy the wave and nod of recognition every day, but that doesn�t necessarily mean we�ll eat dinner together. After all, they�ve seen me walk naked at night in front of windows without drawn shades. This is not to say that the relationship I have with the neighbor isn�t important � it is. I�m sort of confused on that issue right now, I guess. My point is, I enjoy feedback, but please don�t be offended if I don�t respond. There are a few exceptions, of course. And much of my hesitancy lies in the fact that I spend enough time maintaining my real life relationships, and simply don�t have much more time. I'll continue to write the journal as long as it remains a fun thing to do and doesn't interfere with life in the real world.
How did you come to name your journal "Epiphany in Baltimore"?
In 1994 or so, I picked up a used CD for $5 called Epiphany in Brooklyn by this artist named Brenda Kahn. It sat on my shelf for a long time gathering dust, me having only given it a couple of listens. Then, one day, it clicked with me. It's a superb album - my favorite of all time, one that I still listen to at least once every two or three weeks. Kahn's songwriting is poetic and moving, bleak yet hopeful, and this album is a masterpiece - akin to the best work of Bob Dylan or Ani DiFranco. The journal is named partially for this album, which was one of the first that taught me to love music and lyrics and singer/songwriters and independent music. The album, by the way, almost made it big - it received praise in People magazine and Rolling Stone and sold 25,000 copies before Kahn was unceremoniously dropped by her record label and was sentenced to obscurity. That album is a masterpiece, though. The second reason for the journal title is just the word "epiphany" - it reminds me of my best teaching moments, when I see fireworks go off in a kids head after he or she has "gotten" something. I was hoping that the move to Baltimore would cause my own epiphany, and it still might...
What are your hobbies/interests?
I like to think of myself as highly eclectic. I enjoy music, film, theater, sports, travelling, or just hanging out at a bar or coffeeshop. I like to write. I spend way too much time on the Internet. I enjoy good television. I love sports, both playing and watching. I�m a huge Detroit Tigers fan, so you also know I�m not a fairweather fan.
So� you used to be fat, eh?
Yup. I once weight 300 lbs. You may have seen the before and after pictures. I�m now (at press time) down to 190, still 15 pounds from my goal weight. A few things on my weight loss: I did nothing fancy. I just changed my diet and started working out hard. There is nothing too tricky or sneaky about losing weight. It�s a simple math problem. If someone eats too many calories for his body to burn off, he will be overweight. Some people are lucky; they have naturally high metabolic rates and can afford to eat a lot without worries of weight gain. I�m not amongst those lucky people. I come from a family of overweight people, and despite not eating that badly in the past, I was really fat. I was a 300-lb vegetarian, after all. I have to work hard to keep my weight off and to continue to lose weight. But it is possible. If you�re curious as to how I did it, check out my Weight Loss Tips page. Since August 2000, when I began working out, I�ve become something of a health nut. Exercise has become addicting to me, and I�m always thinking about things I eat. I�m still a sucker for certain things � a good beer and Cadbury cream eggs, for example � but I�m a lot smarter now. I've found that my physical changes reflect internal changes, and I'm much happier now. I'm still getting used to my new body. If you look in the archives hard enough, you'll see goofy entries documenting things like the first time I wore a tank top in public (that happened in July, I think) or the first time I fit into a size medium shirt (down from XXL or XXXL). I'm not where I want to be in terms of my fitness, and there are times when I still see a fat guy looking back at me in the mirror. But there are other times when I'm amazed at how different I look, and it's something that - I admit - makes me very happy. Mostly, I enjoy how I feel; I'm full of energy and often feel like I can take on the world.
What are your favorite Artists/Bands?
: Brenda Kahn, John Mayer, Bruce Springsteen, Wally Pleasant, Sam Shaber, Kristin Plater, Counting Crows, Weezer, Ella Fitzgerald, Dashboard Confessional, Lauryn Hill, Jill Scott, Bob Dylan, Musiq, Joni Mitchell, Melanie, Ben Harper, Dan Bern, Alanis Morissette, Fiona Apple, Nirvana, Patty Griffin, Arrested Development, Suzanne Vega, Janis Joplin, Harry Chapin, Tracy Chapman, The Beatles, Erykah Badu, 19 Wheels, Violent Femmes, Indigo Girls, Wilco, Ani DiFranco, Paul Thorne, Melissa Ferrick, Heather Nova, Todd Snider, Jeff Buckley, Sinead O�Connor, India Arie, Mary Lou Lord, Tori Amos, Aimee Mann, Steve Earle, Juliana Hatfield, Old 97�s, Billie Holiday.
Can you name your top ten favorite albums of all time?
Gosh, I can try. Brenda Kahn�s Epiphany in Brooklyn. Weezer�s Blue Album. Bruce Springsteen�s The River. Tracy Chapman�s Tracy Chapman. Jeff Buckley�s Grace. Harry Chapin�s Greatest Stories Live. Jill Scott�s Words and Sounds, Vol. 1. Dan Bern�s Dan Bern. Arrested Development�s 3 Years, 2 Months, and 5 Days in the Life of�. Patty Griffin�s Living With Ghosts. That was tough. Can I do ten more? Here you go: Joni Mitchell�s Blue. Counting Crows� August and Everything After. Sinead O�Connor�s I Do Not Want What I Haven�t Got. Mary Lou Lord�s Mary Lou Lord. Bruce Springsteen�s Nebraska. The Beatles� Sgt. Lonely Pepper Heart�s Club Band. Aimee Mann�s I�m With Stupid. Janis Joplin�s Pearl. Suzanne Vega�s 99.9 F. John Mayer�s Room for Squares. Phew. That feels a bit better.
What are your favorite books?
The Color Purple (Walker) changed my life. The Giving Tree (Silverstein) makes me tear up every time. Their Eyes Were Watching God (Hurston) is probably the most incredible book ever written. I can trace my maturity with how I respond to The Catcher in the Rye (Salinger). A Patchwork Planet (Tyler) gave me goosebumps in places. The Sportswriter (Ford) changed the way I looked at the world. Mystic River (Lehane) was better than any suspense murder/mystery has any right to be. Soft Maniacs (Estep) packs the double whallop of making me laugh out loud and making my heart swell. I marveled at the wit and audacity of The White Boy Shuffle (Beatty). The memoir Growing Up (Baker) is damn good. I think The Scarlet Letter (Hawthorne) is pretty damn great. I think Mark Twain is excellent, even though the middle of Huck Finn sags a bit. Animal Farm (Orwell) is excellent. Zinn�s A People�s History of the United States is a great read. Ditto Michael Moore�s Downsize This.
Got any favorite movies?
So glad you asked. I�ll try to do a top ten here as well. Magnolia (Best Film, 2000). The Wizard of Oz.. Good Will Hunting. The Royal Tenenbaums (Best Film, 2001). High Art. Slam (Best Film, 1999).. Boogie Nights. Signs. (Best Film so far, 2002) The Talented Mr. Ripley. American Beauty. Heathers. Pump Up the Volume. Contact. Delores Claiborne. Bull Durham. Goodfellas. Field of Dreams. Fearless. Death and the Maiden. Fried Green Tomatoes. Driving Miss Daisy. Hearts and Souls. Babe. Shawshank Redemption. Babe II: Pig in the City. Sling Blad. Being John Malkovich. Dead Again. Face/Off. What�s Eating Gilbert Grape? La Confidential. A Few Good Men. The Sixth Sense. Short Cuts. Edward Scissorhands. The Big One. The Insider. Vanya on 32nd Street. Gattacca. Se7en. JFK. Great Expectations. Almost Famous. You Can Count on Me. Best of Show. Hamlet (2000). Tigerland. Election. Go. Pulp Fiction. Out of Sight. Ocean�s 11. Monster�s Ball. Memento. Vanilla Sky. Hedwig & the Angry Inch. Woah. That was way more than ten.
What are ten things you�re thankful for?
A loving family. Good friends. A decent job. My health and the fact that I realized my earlier path would have led to an early grave. Two great pets. The fact that I�m genuinely happy (�A clear and able mind� � M. Ferrick). That fact that I�m still young enough to accomplish things I want to in life. The best grandparents in the world. Living in a pretty cool city. Film/Music that gives me shivers. Baseball.
What are ten things you�d change about your life if you could?
Get out of debt. Travel more. Lose these last 15 pounds. Develop abs. Not wimped out on the marathon attempt just because my formerly sprained ankle kept hurting. Go to Europe for a summer. Read more. Get a girlfriend � a good one. Be more immediately comfortable in social situations. See my family and friends more often.
Random Facts
Car?A 2000 Pontiac Grand Am. Electric Blue. Beautiful. I�m not even a car person, and I had dreams about it the night before I bought it. I can�t really afford it, though.
Stats?5�10, 190lbs
Best physical attributes?Eyes, Arms, Calves, (censored)
Worst physical attributes?Gut, top of head, nose
Best personality attributes?Sense of humor, Open Minded, Wide variety of interests
Worst personality attributes?Too shy, argumentative, flakiness leads to unreliability
Major/Minor in College?English/Political Science
Best recent discovery?That some shreds of self-confidence existed below my layers of excess weight
Pop or Soda?It�ll always be pop for me.
Number of CDs?About 1250
Number of DVDs?20 or so. Probably have 40 VHS tapes, though.
Favorite foods?Pad Thai, Wintergreen Lifesavers, Wow! Doritos, Morningstar Veggie Burgers, banana bread, kiwi fruit, blueberries, chocolate soy milk, green grapes, sugar snap peas, Extra gum � the neon green kind, Optimum Slim cereal, jalapeno peppers, blimpie�s subs, canteloupe, Yves lunch �meat�, mushrooms, asparagus
Favorite drinks?Pepsi One, Diet Mountain Dew, Fresca, Iced Chai, Chocolate Shakes, Chocolate Soy Milk, Michelob Ultra Light, Miller Light, Degroen�s, Long Island Iced Teas
Favorite TV shows?Six Feet Under, 24, Ed, The West Wing, Scrubs, Friends, ER, Will & Grace, Alias, Saturday Night Live, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Sex in the City, The Wire, The Simpsons
Favorite regular reads?Entertainment Weekly, Men�s Health, Men�s Fitness, TV Guide, Time, Detroit Free Press Tigers page, Detroit News Tigers page, ESPN�s baseball news page, David Poland�s The Hot Button, Hollywood Elsewhere, The State News, The War Against Silence, Out of Order, Hugasoul, Nick, Stacy, Barani, Yelnad, Rae Anne, Perceptions, Polishstreak, Goovie, Charmcity, Biensoul,Ms. Boombastic.