Sunday, Jan. 12, 2003
I look for love and for adventure, and I try not to let my own breathing scare me off the road, posted at 3:39 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com One afternoon every weekend, regardless of my level of busy-ness or stress, I spend a day running errands. This usually means getting some odds and ends at Target, filling up a cart at Trader Joe's, working out at Bally's next door, stopping off for some free magazine reading and a cup of coffee at Barnes & Noble, perhaps some shopping for good deals at Marshall's, and then back home.These afternoons take hours, as they act as a time warp. I know no time here. It's just me, alone with my thoughts, trying to remember what I need from everywhere I go and from life.
It's taken me a while to appreciate these Saturdays, but I now see them as crucial. Camouflaged by the crowds, I often lose myself in my ponderings, wandering around a store like Target for an unknown amount of time, losing most connection to all realities except those breathing in my mind. At the gym, I'll run for four or five miles, watching a movie like As Good As It Gets on TBS with closed captioning, so to better appreciate lines like, "I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive," and when there are commercials, my mind will wander to the thudding of my feet or the rubbing of the shirt material against my nipples. I'll head over to Trader Joe's, drenched in sweat, wearing shorts despite the 20-degree weather, and create a plan for my week based on the purchases I make. I'll head back over to Target to pick up the film I dropped off at the one-hour processor, and perhaps get seduced by the sales yet again.
These hours by myself are healthy. They keep me sane, whole, and holy. They give me faith that everything will work out okay.
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Big thanks to GirlJesus for the notes entry, and a big congrats to Aislinna for correctly knowing that "Oh she was so damned beautiful that she'd warm a winter's frost, but she looked long past lonely..." was from the Harry Chapin song "A Better Place to Be." That 9-minute opus got me through a summer I worked in a paper cup factory. What dehumanizing work that was... I used to sing that song to myself and the time would pass by more quickly.
The contest is fun for me, keep those guesses coming. I guess soon I'll have to start a scoring page.