Tuesday, Feb. 03, 2004
50 Things That Have Happened Since I Last Updated, posted at 10:56 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com 1. My journal accidentally got discovered at work by a colleague. It freaked me out a little, so I took the journal down for a bit. My Internet use was so spotty at the time that I couldn�t devote much to it, anyway. Also, the thought of my colleagues going home that night and reading about all of my issues I�ve had since I was 19 or so turned my stomach. I don�t put anything that I think could affect my job on here, but I still didn�t want people I see every day knowing some of my secrets.2. I discovered that I really missed writing down my thoughts on the world. The break was nice, but I�m tired of living an unexamined life.
3. Second surgery, on 12/23, went okay. The surgery itself was a breeze, but the post-op pain was worse than the first one. We�re talking of the moaning and wailing variety, of screaming at my dad and sister (who had come down to Baltimore to take care of me, then to drive me back to Michigan) for little things that I normally would not. But it passed.
4. Vision is still not quite where I want it to be. I got lost driving to Federal Hill the other day because I couldn�t read street signs at night. Highway driving at night is just plain dangerous, so I don�t do that. But I can read, I can use the computer, and it definitely could be worse.
5. Speaking of reading, I�ve read The Orchid Thief, Interpreter of Maladies, and The Fire Next Time in the last month. Interpeter�s first story made me sob, it was so good. I found The Orchid Thief a little heavy on orchid hunting history, but otherwise compelling � I love the paradox of this woman, Susan Orleans, thinking that it�s others who have passion, but she�s so passionate about reporting the story correctly. And in The Fire Next Time, Baldwin confirms his place (for me) as one of the 20th centuries greatest writers. I�ve also been thumbing through the second edition of Jim Burke�s The English Teacher�s Companion (I�d lent out the first version of it to a new teacher last year, and never got it back) and The Body Sculpting Bible for Men.
6. Speaking of the latter, I�ve been working out like crazy, trying to regain the fitness momentum I haven�t felt since before my trip to Italy. As soon as I got the doctor�s okay to work out, I haven�t missed a day. He said I could get back to my regular activities, provided I �don�t run a marathon or anything.� Little does he know that that�s what I�m planning to do this fall. Shhh�
7. I�m still at Ze Mean Bean. Still enjoying it. It�s actually very invigorating to do something outside of teaching, to learn a craft and hone my talents for it. The service industry is very erratic � I have good days and bad � and that�s something that I can step back and look at in an intellectual, rather than angry, way since I�m not relying on the job to live on. It�s paying off my student and car loans, and helping me dig myself out of the colossal debt I put myself in, but my reliance on the job is very different than if it were my only job.
8. I�m being sued for $10,000 by the lying garbage man about Holden�s bite. Any legal help would be appreciated.
9. Just when I think I�m getting out of this colossal debt, something like that happens.
10. We�ve had three snow days, and didn�t really need to have a snow day on any of those days.
11. I live in fear of going into school and finding a pink slip in my mailbox. The school system has lost my teaching certificate from Michigan, and, while another one is en route, I have no idea if they�ll lose it again (for the third time) or use this as an excuse to lay me off. Rumor has it that there could be 1200 more teachers get laid off by the end of the year.
12. I�m increasingly frustrated by my work load this year. 150 students make 75 students � which I had my first two years � look like teaching utopia. I just can�t spend as much time responding to student work as I want to do. I never have free time because it�s always soaked up by grading.
13. Related to #12� I went to three movies in 2003. As someone who loves the movies and considers himself a major movie fan, this is very depressing.
14. Speaking of which, I haven�t been able to figure out how to set up my DVD player since my old roommate bolted in August. So not only can�t I go to the movies, I can�t rent them, either.
15. I try to get my movie fix by reading them.
16. I�m extremely excited about beginning To Kill a Mockingbird and the next unit next semester. I�m in desperate need of a fresh start. This last semester has been a rough one. I want to have a semester with no major eye surgeries, with some free time, with some social activity. I miss my friends.
17. I was named head baseball coach, officially. I�m stoked about that.
18. I was beginning to think that my journal was getting a little whiny before I left. I�m going to try to prevent that.
19. A year after my first time falling in love and the subsequent heartache, I think I�m ready to get back on the horse. I got a girl�s number at the Clark meetup the other night. I really want to go to the big Singles Party at Ravens Stadium on Friday, but have to work and couldn�t get out of it.
20. About that whole debacle a year ago� I�m a little bipolar on it. I go from really wanting to talk to her, or at least be a fly on the wall to see how she�s doing, to just being really angry about what she did and not wanting to talk to her again. I�m either Tracy Chapman�s song �Bridges� or Melissa Ferrick�s song �Some Kinda Nerve.�
21. Sort of related to #20, my favorite radio song of the last several months is Sheryl Crow�s �The First Cut is the Deepest.� I can totally relate to the lyrics, and Crow�s delivery is incredible.
22. The two albums that haven�t left my CD player in the last couple of months are Jay-Z�s very good The Black Album and Melissa Ferrick�s incredible 70 People at 70,000 Feet.
23. I�m thinking about writing a thesis about how rap stars and lesbian folk singers are one in the same. Seriously, Ferrick and Jay-Z have so much in common in their latest CDs, it�s amazing: the hyper self-references, the examination of personal artistic processes, everything.
24. I was able to impress my students by comparing Jay-Z's pun on the word "sycamore" with Shakespeare's pun on the same word in Act I of Romeo and Juliet. Because Jay-Z's parents made love under a sycamore tree, which makes him a more sicker MC than his mother thinks he is, while Romeo went to lament on the fact that Rosalind doesn't love him under a grove of sycamore (sick + amore). Almost the same pun, 400 years later.
25. I�m trying to read at least a chapter of a book a night.
26. Clark�s my first choice, Kerry is my 2nd choice, Edwards is my 3rd, and Dean is my 4th. Sharpton is the one I�d be most excited to hear speak, though. The man is a brilliant public speaker.
27. I have C-Span programmed in my car and listen to it all the time, in between NPR and 92Q.
28. I heard one of the funniest things of my life a couple of weeks ago on This American Life on NPR. It was about a phone message that this mother left for her son: �Well, you and the little mermaid can both go fuck yourselves!� I can�t describe why it was so funny, but go to that website if you want to hear one of the funniest things ever. I think Paul is making me a CD of it.
29. I owe nearly $2000 in parking tickets, and don�t know what to do, and I missed the Amnesty Day. It�s only six parking tickets, but here in Baltimore they add $15 a month to them each and I had no idea until it was too late and now there�s really nothing I can do and my car is flagged and I still feel helpless about it.
30. See #9.
31. But� I have $255 left in credit card debts. That�s all. I still get denied pre-approved cards and all, but I�m almost all the way paid off.
32. I haven�t been watching hardly any TV � don�t have cable, and been too busy � but caught an episode of Alias with Isabella Rosellini and I�m again hooked on the show.
33. I want Isabella Rosellini to have her way with me.
34. I�m in a desperate reexamination of how I live my life at home. My house is a complete and total mess all the time. I�ve decided I�m going to toss or donate everything I haven�t used in the last year. Everything. This is a dramatic and slow process, but it�s happening. I need to keep it up. My goal is to have it done by the time Erin and Gale visit in early April.
35. Bill, my friend who got laid off in November, is living with me now and it�s fun to have a roommate that I like.
pS - I wasn't updating the journal while I was gone, and I didn't get anyone's message about wanting a password. There was no need for one, though, because I wasn't writing.