Epiphany in Baltimore

Thursday, Jul. 22, 2004

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

Tonight, in my third night out in a row (yeah, that once a week thing really worked out well), I went to what is certainly my favorite bar in Baltimore: Thirsty Dog. I've said it time and time again, but I just love this place.

Today, I walked in, ready to meet up with Ryan and Zack, neither of whom I'd seen much of this summer. I walked in the door and the bartender, who is stunning, recognized me and even called me by name. I had gone in there a week and a half ago with my sister and her friends, and we had had a nice conversation about me being a teacher and such (that's really the only thing interesting about me, so I try to play it up), and she remembered me and said hi. She's cute and very friendly, but, unfortunately, engaged. But, as I told Bill later, "She doesn't act like it." Which, I guess, is why she's good at what she does, and why I tipped her 40% tonight. I guess my theory is that if I continue to go into this place, another girl just like her appear, or she'll introduce me to one of her friends or something. She's so great, and I genuinely think she was sorry to us all leave.

Thirsty Dog makes their own beers. You can get a Miller Lite type of beer, called the Blonde Dog, you can go darker and get a Brown Dog, you can meet up with Sam Adams and get a red dog, or you can go a little crazy and get a raspberry beer or blueberry beer. Now, I usually get blueberry beer. I realize it's not the manliest drink in the world, but there's a sort of subtle taste of blueberries, and it's light and crisp and just tastes so damn good in the summer. Plus, my hometown is the Blueberry Capital of the World, so I have an excuse to like blueberries. All the beers there are 2 for $3. There are ten total, plus some mixed beers that they make. We decided that a fun project one night would be to plow through all of them, just for fun. And, believe me, it would be. I almost asked Erin, our stunning bartender, when she worked next, so we could plan the evening, but Bill told me that I was going just a little bit too nuts for the engaged, but doesn't act it, bartender. Zack and Bill were more entranced by the other bartender, the one whose name isn't Atari but reminded me of it (Aterra?), and is stunning and a little ditzy. She seemed available, though, so I guess that indicates why I was more interested in the other one - the one who is unavailable. I'm just like that sometimes. If I saw a psychiatrist, they would probably say it was a defense mechanism. If I talked with Eleanor about it, she would say I was thinking too much. If I talked with Dabrettman about it, he would tell me that I just need to get laid. They would all be right. But this isn't a writeup about my paralysis through overanalysis. It's about Thirsty Dog, my favorite bar in Baltimore.

The place also has great food. I got the Hearts Afire salad again, which is unlike anything I have ever gotten before - hearts of palm, basil, fresh mozzarella, roma romatoes - and tastes incredible, and is only $6.50.

I told the guys about my experience buying my new suit today. The salesguy, who was nice and all, told me I had an "athletic build," which he described as having very broad shoulders, but tapering in as I get to my waist. I decided this meant that I was fat. Anyhow, Zack and Bill both related their own personal salesman euphemisms when buying a suit. Bill apparently is on the slight side, and Zack is in between sizes. Bill thought this meant he was built like a girl, and Zack thought it just meant he was fat.

I want all the woman to read this and realize that guys do have body image issues as well. I mean, one more cover of Men's Health magazine and I might become Mary Kate Olson.

It wasn't all about drinking fruit flavored beer and talking about clothes though (ha ha), I'm sure. I just can't seem to think of anything else.

Tomorrow, as pennance for my day off today, I work a double from 10am until 11pm at the restaurant. I'll offer no euphemisms about it here. It's going to be a long ass day.