2000-12-11
Long week..., posted at 01:42:24
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com My last entry was a while ago, and a lot has happened that I probably should have written about.Ann's memorial service was Thursday afternoon. It was sad, so sad. I went with Kelly, and it was good to have someone who is a good friend with me. Throughout the parade of speakers, I kept wishing I had known her better, had taken more advantage of having this dynamic woman on campus. Her death is still so sad to me - she was younger than both my parents. Her father spoke, and it was devastating. He spoke of the shock of having her die so suddenly and unexpectedly. He said that, of course, it's important to plan for the future, and it's good to remember the past, but that life is in the here and now, and we shouldn't ever forget it. It's now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday. The words really struck me, because I don't think I live my life for now at all. I always look at it from a future perspective. In the future, I'll be out of debt. In the future, I'll find someone to share my life with. In the future, I'll find true happiness. In the future, I'll have a family of my own. Perhaps I need to spend more time in the now, and truly appreciate things.
Ann's death had an impact on me, far more than I would have thought. I've thought about her every night this week. When the TV's off, the computer screen is dimmed, and the radio is silenced, I'm brought back to her image. Not only for her life, but everything her life represented. It's so sad.
That night, Thursday, I had a wonderful experience with live music, something I don't get to have that often anymore. Kristin Plater (www.KristinPlater.com) played in the basement of my dorm, and her performance was entrancing. Tamara Bedricky also played. In between their sets, I decided to do a little tribute for Ann, since she was such a great supporter of the Common Grounds. It was the first time I had really become overcome with emotion about her death, and of course I did it in front of 75 people or so. It made me feel better.
The weekend was pitifully boring - I slept so much. I was on duty, and couldn't leave the movie. Saw a really bad movie ("here the Heart Is", starring a bunch of wonderful actresses - Natalie Portman, Sally Field, Stockard Channing - who should be embarassed), and a really good one ("Unhook the Stars", starring the wonderful Marisa Tomei and Gena Rowlands), and the weird sex drama "Bliss".
I'm still struggling with ideas about how to make "The Scarlet Letter" interesting for these sophomores. I'm hoping I'm doing an okay job.