Epiphany in Baltimore

2002-04-01

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

If Cadbury Eggs were sold yearlong, I would absolutely weigh 300 pounds again. Oh my gosh. I bought a couple more today. You should hear myself justifying it in my mind. I'll think, "Oh look, there's 3.5 grams of protein! They're sort of healthy!" Or, "My gosh, they're only 20 cents because it's the day after Easter. It'd be stupid not to buy a couple." Or, my favorite, that Easter comes only once a year. That's certainly not stopping me from buying them after Easter is over.

It's been a down day. I was awoken by my lovely sister, who informed me that my dad had borrowed my brand new car to drive my mom to work, and had been rear-ended and needed my insurance information immediately. I smelled a rat, and told her point blank without a touch of irony, "Heidi, if you're lying to me, and preventing me from getting my first full night of sleep in days, then I will be very angry." I was answered by running steps to get the phone to bring it to me.

There was just a dial tone. Happy Fucking April Fool's Day, I guess.

She got me.

Activities at home included running for three miles on the treadmill, then completely cancelling it out by eating a chocolate rabbit from my Easter Basket. I have informed my mother never to get me another Easter basket, or if she does, to fill it with fruit. I just don't have that sort of will power when I'm at home. I watched some baseball as well; it's Opening Day, although it's not as exciting as tomorrow's first Tiger game will be. It's amazing how optimistic I feel about the team in the first week of April, despite years of poor play and faulty management.

I then went to Wal-Mart, where my sister gave me a free haircut (she's working at a salon inside of Wal-Mart. She gets pissed if you say she's working at Wal-Mart and not Costcutters). The Wal-Mart here, which opened probably eight or nine years ago and has been such a success that it moved buildings once already, has now has been transformed into a Super Walmart. It opened just a couple of days ago, and apparently they had the high school choir there to sing the National Anthem and there were hundreds of folks lined up outside before the doors were unlocked. It was okay, I guess. As a rule, I don't really like Wal-Mart, because they censor music and are just so damned conservative. I ended up filling my cart with a bunch of stuff, then bought only three of the items - including a boombox for my classroom for just $27.

My trip to Wal-Mart also featured an entire half hour of me sitting on a bench, reading the latest edition of Men's Health for free. Since I let my subscription lapse, I've been really missing the magazine. I've got to get around to getting it again; until then, Walmart can provide the necessary reading time.

Tonight, I'm planning on going out with my sister to watch the Maryland/Indiana game. I'm tired, but I'll get over it. Yawn.