Saturday, May. 29, 2004
My Big Fat Polish Non-Wedding, posted at 1:28 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com The Polish girl is married. She did it yesterday, to the scuzzball she's been dating. We're all in total shock over it, and it's so strange and disappointing that I don't know how to react. First, did she feel like she was pushed back into a corner this much that she had to get married in order to stay in the country? Second, why is it the scuzzball sloppy monosyllabic ne'er-do-well punk-rock musician/electrician who won't let her keep her last name the one she goes for, and not the hardworking teacher of Polish descent with a good sense of humor that has worked with her for the last ten months?It's so bizarre. She was wearing a ring today, and the buzz started around the restaurant. No one had a clue, and she has good friends there (me being one of them, I thought). She was embarassed and was obviously hiding her hand for much of the evening. Then she spilled the beans. One guy blurted, "Is it really that bad in Poland?" Speculation is swirling that she did it so she could quit the job (the restaurant is sponsoring her citizenship at the moment, but is also taking advantage of her a bit).
Anyhow, she still has that incredible, um, rear end and those pouty lips and that accent, but her idiocy here has dropped her attractiveness quotient by at least half. I like smart girls. She's not being very smart here. Folks are giving it six months, and, if not that, then she'll be living in Dundalk smoking on a stoop and looking aged within five years.
She's really weird. On Tuesday, she asked me on a date. Or, you tell me if it was a date... She wanted me to drive her - just the two of us - out to the country to walk our dogs and have a picnic. At night. I couldn't go, but then she gets married two days later to a guy she's known for six weeks? It's all pretty fishy to me. Plus, you should see her with me - pinching, rubbing, does stuff like puts ice down my back during shifts. I don't get it. I don't think she does, either.
I will admit that when my mind wandered, I fantasized about rescuing her from her wayward ways and giving her a spot to settle down in America. She seemed to have this mind that worked on overdrive, which is especially attractive, and I was intrigued by the cultural differences. I thought something would click. But when she threw the last guy out, she was this new guy within, it seemed, seconds. Now, they're married. Where was I?
I don't really know. My social life, or, rather, my dating life, has not progressed at all in the last year. I don't know where in the hell the year went, nor do I know why I allowed things that happened to me this past year to take over in ways that stunted my personal growth. So, I haven't been on a date since the eye surgeries. My current excuse? My "wait until I get that done, then watch out cuz I'll be on fire just like last year" excuse? It's the eyeglasses. I really do hate them. I think I use my eyes a lot in my communication style, and my eyes are one of the things about me that stands out (one unabashed student told me right after my surgeries that, "Oh, Mr. Epiphany! They ruined your best part!"). I feel blocked by the eye glasses, and when I'm having an important conversation, I tend to start focusing on the edges of them. I'm very, very conscious of them. I feel like once I get contact lenses (next week), I'll be back to normal a little bit more. It'll help with the running, too. Bouncing glasses kind of suck.
Then, I'll come up with a new excuse. The sort of ironic thing about eyeglasses is that I like girls with glasses. This girl I currently have my eyes on (not sure how to get beyond that... she's in our circle of friends, but I don't have her number, and I heard a rumor she's dating someone but her roommate isn't quite sure, and I'm totally hopeless in situations like this) has really cool glasses that I think are pretty hot.