Epiphany in Baltimore

Friday, Sept. 05, 2003

Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com

The Internet is so slow at school that the computer times out just checking hotmail. Thus, my lack of updates lately.

The beginning of the school year has been going well. I�m teaching something called a 6 A-B schedule, meaning that I am teaching the same class, three times a day, on alternate days. My fears about teaching this schedule � boredom � are already coming to fruition, but I do admit I didn�t assess how the lack of planning would ease the schedule. It�s sort of nice not to have to worry every day about what I�m doing in class that particular day; I only worry every other day. That�s not to say that the planning will not become more individual for the different classes as the year progresses and the classes begin to differentiate themselves, but right now I�m enjoying the less time it�s taking me to get ready for class, at least on the alternate days.

The work will definitely begin to catch up with me, though. With almost 150 students and six classes worth of students, grading is going to be a beast this year. So don�t feel like I�m getting off easy.

But I am a bit bored. That�s because the first couple days of class is so teacher-focused. The sixth time going over my syllabus, at the end of day two, I was trying to figure out ways to spice it up. Like, maybe do it in Spanish or something. As soon as I can get the kids more front and center, which I�m going to begin doing very soon, it will hopefully become less monotonous. This � not the grading � was my biggest worry about teaching 6 A/B, and the first three days of class does not bode well for the rest of the year. I really wish the school had given me another prep, like Junior English, to make things a bit more interesting. I think this is a mistake that my department head will regret. I�m not saying that threateningly at all, but at this point in my career, I shouldn�t have any sense of stagnation, and with teaching only 9th graders for 3 years at the beginning of my career, I think it might happen. This is the time of my career when I should be expanding and getting more experience.

Only a few students have stood out so far. I�m remembering the boys� names a little better, because there are less of them. I have the younger sister of a girl who I taught my first semester teaching (a sign I�m getting old, I guess), and I keep looking over at her and thinking that she is her older sister. So I learned her name pretty quickly. Not that I would have had a hard time remember her name. It�s Ikea. I�m not kidding. In other name news, I have a girl named Allegra. And eight Ashley�s, including four in one class. And then there�s Justin, a boy who stayed after class to tell me he hadn�t done his summer reading. �Because, to be honest with you Mr. Epiphany, I really am not that big into reading and writing.� That�s honesty for ya.

Today I was able to do my best imitation of a hardass with my students. I do it early on, often, to whip them into shape for the rest of the year. Homework from the first day of school was to bring back their signed syllabus and bring in their summer reading character chart. In first period, 7 of 26 kids forgot their signed syllabus and about 11 out of 26 did not do the character chart. This was my speech: �It is entirely unacceptable that over a quarter of the students in this class could not fulfill the simple assignment of bringing back their signed syllabus, and even more unacceptable that apparently almost half of you did not complete the summer reading assignment. We expect more from you here at (name of school), and I was hoping I could get past the first week without any phone calls home. That�s not going to happen. We have only 24 days in class before report cards come out, and this is day 2. You�re already behind. We have 16 A�s in this class right now and 11 F�s. Do not get yourself into a hole in this class, because it�s hard to struggle out of it.�

I love the word �unacceptable.� It has such power.

I think it shocks students to hear this sort of language come out of my mouth, as I�m a pretty jovial guy. I could hear a collective gasp from the room as I was haranguing them. But I take my position as the 9th grade English teacher very seriously. I feel my class is almost sort of a weeder course. Very few of my students fail overall, but it might take them a marking period or two to become accustomed to my expectations. Many of our students come from middle school where politeness and steady attendance equaled good grades, but I expect hard work and skills building. So this is the time of the year when I�m as strict as possible with them, before the casual slide to my natural laid back style.

********

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my career and the place I�m at in my life right now. This week, I sort of had that feeling that I�ve woken up and I�m 26 and don�t really know where I�m headed. I�ve had thoughts about teaching overseas. I�ve had thoughts about moving closer to my family in Michigan or Chicago. I want to get married and have kids, and I feel as I�m in my second half of my twenties that this should become more of a priority. I�ve sort of been waiting for the latter to find me, but it hasn�t yet. I�m probably not open enough for it. I�m not really sure, I guess. I will admit to a certain sense of loneliness in the last month or so that I haven�t been used to since I moved here. I miss people. I feel like this is the year that I must make some of these crucial decisions in my life, whether Baltimore will be my home for the indefinite future or whether I�m going to begin to think about elsewhere.

I think the impending birth of Jeremy�s boy has my biological clock ticking. When I was going through all the financial problems over the summer (and I�m not out of them yet, but I�ve got my head almost above water), the major thing that kept coming to my head was how I was going to prevent it with my own kids. I�ve really got to learn from the experience and be able to pass the wisdom down. And these thoughts are sort of a sign to me that I�m looking forward to having a family.

And what will I do? One thing that has confused me is that few of my friends talk about student loans. I�m not sure if I�m just friends with a lot of people who did not have to pay for college, or if they�re just better than me at paying student loans. It�s probably a combination of both. I don�t think college loans are necessarily evil, but I�ll do a better job of making sure my kids understand student loans and what they entail, but I�ll also incorporate some sort of second job / high school saving program to make sure they (as well as my wife and I) have a college fund. I just signed whatever was put in front of me without understanding it. I won�t let them do that. I will give numerous credit card lectures and talk about how they feed off of poor college students. I will make sure they learn from my mistakes.

****

I have been watching way too much network television lately � lots of reruns of Friends, Will & Grace, The Simpsons, and Seinfeld. I�m not sure if I�m going to have the money to turn back on my direcTV this year, even though I think I have to (yearlong commitment and all), but I might be able to get by on the networks. I think the only reason for cable is HBO, ESPN, and Comedy Central. Those are significant reasons, but we�ll see. It�s about 12th on my list of priorities right now.

I think the Whoopi show is going to be terrible, even though I like Whoopi Goldberg a lot. That Christine Baranski/John Larroquette show also looks to be pretty mediocre, even though I really like Baranski. That Las Vegas show might be a find. That one with the Latino son of a Congressmen dating the daughter of a pornographer, with that scary guy with a beard, looks decent, although it might be all about the flashy commercials. And that new Alicia Silverstone show might be good, although its Friday night airing might mean I�ll never watch it. But, gosh, she�s cute.

***

I have been feeling less and less excited about John Kerry. I still think he�s the best of the nine Democratic candidates for President (other than Kucinich, who is in 9th place, even behind Carol Mosely-Braun, so his un-electability is too problematic), but Gale convinced me to look into Wesley Clark, and he seems pretty great. I�m still curious about his domestic agenda and what he intends to do about the sorry state of our education, and I want to know if he�s anti-capital punishment, but so far, he looks like an excellent candidate as well. I do hope he runs. I don�t like the fact that Kerry voted for the war on Iraq and now is backpedaling. Although I am rather forgiving of people changing their minds � after all, I wasn�t sure that the war was wrong at that time, but I am now � but Kerry should have looked at the National Intelligence Estimate that was skeptical of Iraqi capability for war. He didn�t, and that sucks. I still think he�s an amazing speaker and he�s someone I could get excited about � he reminds me a lot of Bill Clinton, in fact � but his backpedaling is making me hesitant.

***

I desperately need to renew my gym membership, because I can�t seem to work out at home at all and my weight feels like it�s ballooning. My confidence is wavering and I really need to get back into it.

***

Because it�s the Ukrainian Festival this weekend, I will be working 39 hours over three days. I hope I survive.