Tuesday, Jul. 29, 2003
Dreary, posted at 10:20 a.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com I keep going back and forth in my head about what to do with the money situation. Here's what I've decided:1) I'm going to attempt to live without a car this year. I will sell my beloved car. I don't know the specifics yet. I still want to pay it off, but the $300 in insurance I'll save every month and the time it will afford me in paying it off will help innumerably. I have enough friends and live in a decent enough location so I think I can do it. As soon as I can afford it (maybe when I have that car paid off), I'll go ahead and get a beater with low insurance rates that I can pay for all at once or have very small payments for.
2) I'm still figuring out the bancruptcy issue. People who e-mail me or sign the guestbook are split right down the middle. People who are against it sometimes take the moral argument ("You'll never learn from your mistakes"), which I feel is a stronger argument than the other one ("You'll have bad credit for years"), because I'm already at the latter point.
I still haven't sat down and talked it over with my parents, and I want to do that. My dad is taking me golfing today, maybe I'll "come out" to him as a broke man while we're out there. I'm not expecting any help, but I need some advice.
Otherwise, things are very mediocre. I'm dreading going back to Baltimore, but staying in Michigan isn't all that much fun at the moment either. I haven't seen any of my friends, and don't really have money to see them, either. My parents run the gamut from testy to happy, but there's too much of the former and not enough of the latter. I'm not sleeping well because I've been waking up with these stomach pains associated with the fact that when everything's quiet, I only think about my financial problems. My cousin is mad at me for being worried about her. I have made too many sort-of commitments for this week and don't feel like getting in my car and making a long drive again.
I just want it to be the first day of school.
On a better note, I've watched a lot of movies this week, as dad has rented us some movies. I loved Phone Booth and The 25th Hour, and Igby Goes Down, Sophie's Choice, and The English Patient still await. I've also been making good progress in the book I'm currently reading, number six of the summer, Julia Alvarez's In the Time of Butterflies. Books on tape I've checked out for the ride back to Baltimore are Allison's Bastard Out of Carolina, Morrison's Sula, and I think that's all.