Saturday, May. 31, 2003
Hurricane Doria blows through Baltimore, posted at 11:46 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com Last night's Doria Roberts house concert was incredible, exactly what I'd needed. I had never met her nor seen her live before, but immediately felt a warmth from her when she walked in my door with her two guitar cases and long blue hair. Soon, my house became full, with more strangers than people I knew. By the end of the night, the strangers - mostly lesbians, many from the area - were friends.Doria is incredible live. She's not the standard folk singer; she throws in little raps here and there, plays a blazing rock every now and then, and pours everything into her music. The Tracy Chapman comparison is an easy one, possibly slightly racist because they're two of the only African American women who play guitar, but I heard some similarities in voice and subject matter. Other artists that came to mind were Ben Harper and Ani DiFranco, but she was all her own as well.
I requested two songs: "It's 4 am" and "Blackbird." However, Doria does not have those songs. She has a song called "It's 5 am" and "Bluebird." My requests were a bit off, and provided laughs. For the former, I told her I was actually requesting the prequel.
Another funny moment occurred in the middle of Doria's song "Jesus Is Coming," a tirade against the religious right. After the lyric "Jesus is coming," Doria looked out the window and said, "Hey, come on in." I thought this was pretty funny and laughed. The only thing is, there were actually people out there and Doria was actually telling them to come in. Funny.
Later came "Bluebird." Doria said she didn't play it very often any more, and had to get out the lyrics book. She then introduced it as a song she wrote years ago when she was feeling really sorry for myself. I began to think that, yes, this is how I've been feeling, and maybe that's why I wanted to hear the song. Then, these lyrics came, and cheered me up:
Then I got a flash of my life
The kind you get when you think you are dying
I thought, "Maybe I�m already dead and
I just don�t know it yet."
That�s when I started crying
The sky became blurry
The moon and stars disappeared
There were no more clouds in my eyes
And to my surprise I began to laugh
The kind you have when you know you�re
going to be okay
That�s all I really had to say
The song's not about feeling sorry for yourself; it's about hope and getting through. I feel like I'm there.
I am so unsure as to what to do about the situation right now, the one with the MI girl. It's been a week since we e-mailed, and I never did send the e-mail that I thought about sending at this point. I feel like I want to, that there are things in there that she needs to hear, but Renee gave me some good advice recently. She told me not to e-mail, not to say anything with any finality to it, that it would harm any prospects of making up. But I also sort of feel like if we were ever to become friends again, she would need to know that I think her excuses and her reasons are bullshit and that she disappointed me greatly. Right now, I still feel like a piece of her therapy, something that was toiled with and then dealt with. It aches. Whenever I think about it too long, I just have to stop. So part of me wants to e-mail, while the other part of me wants to just let it lay still for a long while. In all honesty, I'm not sure if I want to be friends, though I do miss her.
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Stacy gave me a great idea about Italy - why not spend $188 to fly to Frankfurt and take a train to Italy? Seems reasonable, and might save hundreds of dollars. Thanks to people who have helped me look for rates; the help is deeply appreciated.
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I'm watching Saturday Night Live, and 50 Cent's performance of "In Da Club" was pitiful. I love the song and like the guy. I think he's talented, and I love his easy delivery and hyperbolic lyrics. But that performance was terrible, making me think he's a studio creation. First of all, he was off-key, and it's very difficult for me to notice if a person is off-key and he's freaking rapping, so how hard is it to stay on key? Secondly, he performed with two other rappers who detracted from the impact of the song. They took many of the lines.