Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2004
Cautious Optimism or Potentially Devastating Hope?, posted at 11:58 p.m.
Epiphany in Baltimore has moved to epiphanyinbaltimore.blogspot.com My co-working teachers at school have lately been saying to me, "You're so lucky to have a second job waiting tables already! You have something to fall back on!"I guess they're right. If I do get laid off tomorrow, or Friday, or whenever it happens, I could have it worse. I don't have kids to support, nor even a lease obligation to fulfill (I signed a one year least in August 2001, and haven't signed anything else with the old woman who owns the house I live in). I could collect unemployment for a bit and wait tables, and probably still coach baseball. So it could be a lot worse. Since that's the motto of the year (Have to have major eye surgery on both eyes? Could be worse. Could be a brain tumor. Have to work 100 hours a week to pay off debts and make ends meet? Could be worse. You could have had your car repossessed when it was going to happen the next day. Getting sued for $10,000 for a bogus dog bite and can't afford a lawyer? Could be worse. I could actually have entities that the suer could take), I'll adopt it for the layoff situation as well.
I'm actually cautiously optimistic about the mayor's proposal to loan the school enough money to pay off half the deficit and save us from layoffs, if we adopt a 3.5% paycut. Since I supported the furloughs and/or the 8% paycut, I'd definitely support that as well as long as I keep my job. I hope the union supports it, too. I'm hopeful they will. Since Friday's vote, an anti-union sentiment has been creeping into my mentality, as I'm thoroughly unhappy that it was primarily the veteran teachers who voted against the measure for furloughs or a pay cut, since the layoffs wouldn't affect them directly. I understand it, but I also have issues with it. It's like the younger teachers were okay to sacrifice to prove a point. I hope we adopt this new measure.
Of course, the discussion in the staff office today centered about how hope is a dangerous thing, and that we shouldn't allow ourselves that hope. Being English teachers, we cited Crooks in Of Mice and Men and Morgan Freeman's character in The Shawshank Redemption.
I'm still going to allow myself that hope, though. It's become somewhat difficult to motivate myself about To Kill a Mockingbird and the new unit. Actually, that's not difficult. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that I might not actually be able to finish the unit, and that would suck, but I would deal with it. But it's tough to motivate myself to do the stuff that I don't love - the paperwork, the data analysis for the midterm I just gave, sending my attendance sheets down right when the bell rings, etc. The mood is so stagnant at school right now, with everyone plodding on fear and a sadness that comes with having a shitty situation and not knowing what, if anything, can be done about it.
So many things have crossed my minds in recent days about it. I've touched up the resume. I've done research about job openings (Philadelphia's hiring!). I asked Gale if I could be her roommate in Detroit, but she nixed that idea because of her firm, unreasonable anti-Holden stance. My parents tell me that teachers in Benton Harbor are treated very well, and I know they'd love to have me back in Michigan. I have no clue what I'd do if it happened. I'd probably tool around Baltimore for a bit, coach baseball, continue to wait tables, and hope to be rehired in the summer, to be honest.
I'm so excited to really dive into To Kill a Mockingbird tomorrow. So far, it's been very light introductory stuff, but tomorrow they're getting a full on strut of it. I get so passionate about this book and the discussions that it sparks with students. I should post my unit plan; I've poured my heart into it.
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My take on Wesley Clark is that he entered the race too late and immediately hurt his candidacy by saying he "probably" would have voted for the war. Then, his decision to skip Iowa was a major blunder from which he couldn't recover. I hope he runs again in 2008; I think as a more seasoned politician he could still catch fire.