2001-11-14

9 bad things, 9 good things, posted at 8:10 a.m.

I so don't want to be back here at school right now. It's been a rotten week.

I'm sick, which seems to magnify all my other problems. Yesterday, during my lunch break, I said out loud to other teachers, "Gosh, I don't feel well at all. I just want to go home." That sort of complaining is rare for me, except on here.

What are all the other problems that are magnified, you ask? Here they are, in itemized organization:

1. I think I got about four kids grades incorrect. One kid swears he e-mailed me his paper, and I believe him. I get so much junk mail that I think I deleted it accidentally - he's a good kid and I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I forgot I told two girls that their rough draft would count for their grade if they didn't turn in their final copy. And I have another kid who I believe that says he turned in his paper. My principal apparently is not very tolerant of grade sheet errors, but I hope he will cut me some slack since it's my first time doing grades. Plus, I was off in the mountains when grades were due, and the extension that I was granted prevented me from getting the grade verification forms back, which all the other teachers got (and were able to sign off on). They were the type of errors that I would have caught.

2. My freshmen have spent the first two days of this week presenting one of their soundtrack songs for "To Kill a Mockingbird," and then giving a 2-minute persuasive speech as to why the song they chose fits the themes of the story. I thought it would go well, and be relatively easy teaching days. Oh god, no. They have been easily the most stressful days of the year so far. Kids can't seem to stop themselves from trying to sneak the radio volume up or dancing as the songs play, and it makes me feel like the bad guy on Footloose to get them to just sit and listen. Presentations have been disorganized and far too loose for my comfort. And I blame myself. The kids just can't handle that much freedom. Actually that way of stating it puts the blame on them. How about this: The kids needed more structure in the assignment. Ah, that's better. That lays the blame squarely where it should be - on me. I spent most of 7th period praying that my supervisor wouldn't choose that particular day to check in on my class. Thank god presentations are over, and that we start Their Eyes Were Watching God next week. I hope I can tread by until then - I'm finding it tough to teach without the structure of a novel supporting me.

3. I am still not sure what I'm going to do with my freshmen when I'm gone on Friday. At least I've made out my sophomore lesson plans. And, yes, I'm doing Dead Poet's Society. Now I've got to find a place to rent it from tonight, preferably some place other than my usual Blockbuster, where I'm sure to have about a $10 fine since I didn't return that awful movie Bridget Jones Diary anywhere close to on time when I rented it a while ago.

4. Today is parent-teacher conferences, so I can't go home until 8pm. I'm dreading seeing the parents of the four students whose report cards are screwed up. I hope no one comes away from the meeting with me with the feeling that I'm dangerously underqualified and horrendously disorganized. Because that's the way I'm feeling lately. I still don't feel like I've gotten into the swing of things since my return from the trip to the mountains with Outward Bound. I'm sure triple-digit temperatures that don't seem to be receding is contributing to that.

5. I have not yet figured out my health insurance, and my mother made me feel really guilty about that fact last night. I have no idea what I would do if I woke up tonight with a shot-up fever up to 105. I need to figure out the rules and procedures of the insurance, but there's so much red tape crap in the central offices that every time I've tried to call I haven't been able to get anyone.

6. I haven't worked out or done anything physical since Friday, since I've felt so crappy. It could very easily be part of the reason I feel so crappy, though. I feel fat and unfit. It turns my mood crummy when I don't/can't work out. Last night, Jason and I at least played a few games of pingpong and that got the ol' heart rate up a little.

7. The house is abominable. With the concert Thursday, I've got to get it all done - or at least almost done - by tonight. Mike got a bicycle in the mail yesterday, and there are styrofoam peanuts everywhere.

8. My first portfolio meeting is Tuesday, and I'm not nearly prepared for it yet.

9. Teachers who have been here for 16 years, or 33 years, or 9 years, look at me and say things like, "I remember when I was a first year teacher, and the focus was on good lesson plans and the students. Now, with everything else, I have no idea how you're even doing it. I would be so frustrated if I was in your spot right now." There is so much crap with standardized tests in this district that it boggles the mind.

On the plus side, here are the good things going on right now.

1. I'm all done staining and polyeurithaning my new TV stand, and it should be in use tonight.

2. Friends coming down this weekend. Very, very excited.

3. I get to see Melissa Ferrick and Dan Bern, together, on Thursday night. They are two of my all-time favorite artists, and the chance to see them together is remarkable.

4. I'm not coming into school on Friday because of the NCTE conference. I can sleep in a little bit, stop by there for all the free stuff, then come home and prepare for my guests.

5. I weighed myself this week, and lost four pounds over the last two weeks, despite not being as physical as I usually am.

6. Earlier this week, Dave Dombrowski was hired as the President of the Detroit Tigers, and this can only be a good thing for the success of the team.

7. Ed, The West Wing, and Malcolm in the Middle are all on tonight. By the way, does anyone else absolutely hate the new DA on Law & Order? She has pretty much ruined the show for me.

8. Being at school so long today will provide plenty of opportunity for me to get shit done.

9. I'm driving back to Michigan a week from today, and get to see my family and my parents' dog. I hope she's not too jealous of Holden.

There, I was able to think of as many positive things as negative things. Things are good! Just keep telling yourself that, Mark!

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